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About this blog

[FONT=Arial]Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.[/FONT]

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Entries in this blog

An Unconventional Choice for the Next Twins Manager

Here's the truth. Both of us peanuts love Ron Gardenhire. We know that we're in the minority there...especially after the last four years...but c'mon, he looks like a little garden gnome. He's ADORABLE!   Seriously though, thank you for the support you provided and the lack of lawsuits you threw our way Gardy. You're a cool dude.   But now our attention turns to the real focus of the hour. Who will replace Gardy on the top of the Twins dugout step? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v289/pammyb20
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

6

Cliff Lee, Twins Legend: An Alternate History

For the first time in 5 years the Twins are buyers at the deadline, and with the Mariners in town and the Twitter fanbase on fire, I thought it would be fun to to look back at the last big Twins trade that never happened and imagine what it would be like if the Twins had acquired Cliff Lee from the Mariners 5 years ago.   Note: this is a work of fiction, not a genuine attempt at analyzing impacts...I'm not that smart, I'm just a weird guy who likes Alternate History     7/9/2010   When the Rang
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

#ParkBlossom: The Imagined Poetry of Byung-Ho Park

On perhaps the most beautiful day Minnesotans have seen in 2016, fans of the local ball club were treated to sunshine, cold beer and a dream-like state in which, we we had gone almost 48 whole hours without a loss.   But still there was unrest, muttering and snarls at the young hitters. "NOT A HOME RUN, MAUER!" when the resurgent catcher ripped a screamer up the middle, straight into a second baseman's glove. "SWING THE BAT, BIG BOY!" when Miguel Sano spat on border line pitch after border line
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

How To Win Every Byron Buxton Debate

For the last week a great many Twins fans have been fiercely debating the fate of top prospect Byron Buxton. As the most prominent minor leaguer for the local nine since Joe Mauer, Buxton has been tremendously appealing to fans from Apple Valley to Zumbrota, particularly as the Twins scramble to hold on to one of the AL Wild Cards.   Yet Twins Territory has been torn between demanding Buxton's arrival and ascendancy to greatness, and hedging in the name of cautious player development.   It may s
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

2

If the Twins were Scotches

After our second year of watching and gambling on Twins baseball, we Peanuts from Heaven had our annual pay-off dinner/drinking fest at the St. Paul Grill, aligning perfectly with Game One of the World Series. And while Stinky bemoaned Alcides Escobar's lousy pitch selection (seriously, three pitches up by his eyes? I mean...who does he think he is, Delmon Young?), we also made time to talk about the team we actually care about.   In the midst of the third...or maybe fifth...scotch, I started to
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Adopt a Prospect: An Interest "Spike"

Once a month we check in on our adopted prospect, JT Chargois, bring him soup, pat him on the back, whisper sweet nothings about his rapidly improving performances to Terry Ryan in the hopes that he becomes a pitcher ready to make meaningful contributions to the Twins in the near future. As today's the draft, and since we first found a fondness for "Spike" Chargois during the 2012 draft, it seems appropriate to update this now.   When last we checked in on JT Chargois he was starting the long ro
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cliff Notes for the 2015 Twins: From June to the All-Star Break

Again, I've been derelict in my duty--though I was out of the country and away from reliable internets for a while there. Still were back with another nerdy English-Class style recap of the last month (plus) in Twins Territory     Chapter 3: June to the All-Star Break   Plot Summary:   So great was the joy among fans after a shockingly strong June, that the Twins could, to many eyes, have appeared better than they actually were. So it was only slightly surprising that the team stumbled badly in
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

A Very Twins Opera

This weekend, baseball returns to the Twin Cities: in OPERA FORM!   "The Fix" is the latest in the Minnesota Opera's long running endeavor to bring new and distinct modern voices to an art form often seen as antiquated. It tells the story of the 1919 Chicago "Black" Sox, who conspired to lose the World Series in exchange for payoffs from a gambling syndicate. It's a dark chapter in the national past time's history, one that claimed the careers of both rookies and veterans, wise souls and dumb ki
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

2

Designated Everything

Most of the wise and trusted Twins blogs have noted that while the team's current offense, to put it politely, sucks harder than a Super Powered Hoover. Yet, they say, help is on the way from the prospect ranks--even if many of them are currently injured. http://cdn1.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/36315418/452114082.0_standard_352.0.jpg That's a big but... However, all that hope for the future comes with a caveat as big as Kenny Vargas' backside. To wit: most of the good hitters are not
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Put Your Hands together for Joe Mauer

Since returning from the disabled list, Joe Mauer has been quietly reassembling himself, like a hitting terminator emerging from the blazing hell fires of suckitude, back into the consistent--if robotic--man we all know and respect. http://www.jamescamerononline.com/terminator221301.png Mauer mid-rehab stint While the hitting was something we all thought could return, we're glad to see that Mauer's defense has also been less terrible than in the past. We like to imagine that the reason for this
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Torii Hunter Teaches the Little Things

There's been a lot of cyber ink spilled over the ejection, tirade and now suspension of Torii Hunter for arguing balls and strikes on Wednesday. Rather than debate the justifications for it, or weigh in on the great "inspiration"/"childishness" debate, we'd like to imagine how this little event will affect future Twins franchises. We take you now to a tape room in the Twins' Fort Myers training compound, some March day in the not-so-distant future. A crew of young prospects, chatter anxiously aw
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Adopt a Prospect: Meet JT "SPIKE" Chargois

Three years ago, we Peanuts adopted a prospect. A delightful prospect we thought could grow into an intimidating reliever...or at least his beard could. A guy we cared for, and supported through thick and (more frequently) thin, until finally, we waved good bye as he ran joyfully through a field upstate, where all the released prospects go when they're released.   We spent a year in mourning, but we're ready to re-open our hearts, to another prospect. And to that end, we've adopted another in th
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cliff Notes for 2015: April

In an effort to get back in the swing of writing about the Twins consistently, I'm going back to an old well: Cliff-Notes. After all, I end up checking the cliff notes of everything book I teach for plagiarism, I figure this is just getting ahead of the curve. (For the start on cliff-notes I made before September crushed my baseball loving soul click here)   With that, let's start looking at Volume 2 of the Twins' Cliff Notes   Chapter 1: "April" Plot Summary: With the traditional exposition of

Terry Ryan Learns the Magic Word

As we tip toe to July, we know that inevitably Twins fans will start to imagine all manner of favorable scenarios, dream sequences and wishful thinking that leads the GM Terry Ryan to make all the right moves and deliver a winner to Target Field.   We Peanuts from Heaven are nothing if not imaginative, but rather than prognosticate any remotely feasible trade scenarios, allow us to write another in our on-going series of creative scenes played against a backdrop of the Twins 2015 season (apologi
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Laughing through the Pain: Another Way to Look at Twins Hitting

A year ago I offered an alternative statistic for measuring player worth--not in wins/losses, but in the far more useful field of entertaining the fan base: Amusement Above Replacement Player (AARP) for short. The statistic is measured in five key categories on a scale of -2 to +2, Play Nickname: Physical Traits: Personality/Demeanor: Oddities: When added up, these statistics gives us a total AARP somewhere between -10 and +10.   Last year, the AARP statistic revealed that while the T
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Terry Ryan's Secret Ad

Many of you may be looking at the Twins roster for opening day and wondering: "where the hell are the prospects?"   Sure, we've been told again and again that we're about to get a huge influx of talent. And sure, we've been told that the children are our future. But the young players coming north: Danny Santana, Kennys Vargas, Oswaldo Arcia, Kyle Gibson...we've seen them all before...and the people we haven't seen: Blaine Boyer? Kurt Suzuki? Tim Stauffer? Are not the world changing prospects we'
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

4

How Hamilton Explains The Twins Season

In the midst of one of the most disappointing Twins seasons in memory, it's natural to look around for something, anything, to explain or distract from what promises to be a long, hard campaign.       That's where pulitizer-winning, grammy-winning, genius-crafted (even if said genius is a Yankees fan), best-selling, award-monopolizing musical Hamilton comes in. Sure you can listen to it and distract yourself from the announcement of yet another dropped fly ball, blown lead, or ill-timed strike o
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cereal and Statistics

I tend to spend my mornings with four things: a bowl of cereal, a cup of tea at hand, my MLB At Bat app and a folded over copy of The Economist magazine.   As I gorge on both carbs and information, I'm happy to know that the Twins have room to grow and that seemingly every night someone out does themselves (even if someone else does worse). But I'm also happy to balance the Twins in one corner of my mind and world events (like Greek debt defaults and Indian corruption trials) are squarely in ano
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Why JT Chargois is better than A-Rod

It has not been an easy last two weeks for our Adopted Prospect: Mr. Jon Tiberius Chargois (okay it's Jon Thomas...but give me some nerd slack). He had his worst outing of the year giving up 6 earned runs on three walks and three hits, and the breezy dominance that made Chargois a Florida State League All-Star seems like a distant memory compared to his current form.   And yet, this weekend, as the Twins got snake bitten (again) by the Yankees and their complicated, record-book busting (again) D
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

Cliff Notes for the 2015 Twins: Chapter 4

The first days of school are right around the corner for many tykes in Twins Territory, so to help you with that summer reading you neglected, here's some more notes about that local best-seller: The Minnesota Twins   Chapter 4: Post-All-Star Break to End of August Plot Summary: While the doldrums in Chapter 3 appeared foreboding, the climactic triumph of Glen Perkins and Brian Dozier's march to the All-Star Game (and accompanying 6-1 stretch) offered a great deal of hope to Twins fans. As I wro
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Musings and "Analysis" on a Deck of Cards

That New Pack Smell Every year, I treat myself to one pack of baseball cards. I've always enjoyed recapturing the glee, the confusion and the memories of stale bubble gum.   This year, with the Twins careening below .500, it seems that plenty of fans would appreciate a diversion like this, but, as a curious soul, I wondered. Would the Twins be any better, if I replaced players on the team with those individuals in my particular deck of cards? Or, put another way, is the Twins Front Office any
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

Cliff Notes for 2015: May

Like my very own students, I'm slow in posting, but by god, I will always deliver these cliff notes...unless I go crazy grading student papers first. Chapter 2: "May"   Plot Summary:   Just as Twins fans prepared themselves to see the silver lining at the end of April reform into a thunderhead of injuries, incompetence and ineffectiveness, something happened that had not happened for a long time in Minnesota. The silver lining got brighter.   And brighter.   And brighter.   So bright in fact, t
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

0

The Battle over Torii Hunter

He's back. Torii Hunter is back, and in the 7 hours of his official presence in a Twins line-up again there are two clear camps in response to his return.     In the blue corner, weighing in at 140 characters, 140,000 grey hairs in the last four seasons and 140 million liters of digital ink are the analytically minded, podcast savvy, SABR-metrical, writers, critics and yes...fans who wonder what the heck the Pohlad's were thinking.   "This is not the Torii Hunter we fell in love with," they remi
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

1

The Cure for the Twins Offense

Though the Twins' offense has struggled to generate many runs in the month of June, their tremendous success in May and the method of their outburst against the White Sox yesterday reminds us all of what has worked for the team all year: Hit Clusters.   Now, the Twins, along with local business partners in the breakfast cereal industry are out to share the secret of their winning ways with the populace at large in this new advertisement for a special Twins Centric Cereal!   [Our first shot is of
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

3

Lesson's from a Mom

This weekend, for mother's day I helped honor the woman who taught me how to irrationally love a bunch of wild, punk kids...she had practice with my brothers and I, and it's clearly served her well as a baseball fan too. My mother is a die-hard, eternally loyal and unflaggingly optimistic, and permanently enamored of the Twins. She cheers for Mauer when others boo, she cheers for Nishioka when others leave him for dead, somehow-someway, she even cheers for Matt Capps. But over mother's day brunc
PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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