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About this blog

[FONT=Arial]Welcome to our Twins blog. We'll bring up some "facts" and "stats", from time to time, but our real strength lies in sarcasm, silliness and Yankee-baiting.[/FONT]

Entries in this blog

Words and Numbers

Anyone who seeks out more writing about the Minnesota Twins, clearly cares about the team. They have opinions aplenty about the best direction the franchise could take. They think about it, they weigh pros and cons, and they argue with passion when they feel like they are right.   In that regard, there's very little that separates blog readers from the Twins front office. But in the last few weeks a font of frustration has welled up, particularly as regards recent roster decisions. I am no kind

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why we must trade Liriano

There's still a lot of debate over whether or not the Minnesota Twins should trade Francisco Liriano. Sure he's the best pitcher on the staff of a team that's rather desperate for starting pitching, but he's also a free-agent-to-be with a demanding agent who will probably be looking for a sizable pay day (one that we likely can't afford). Yet, there are plenty of people who would like Frankie Franchise to stick around now that he's figured out how to be consistently dangerous on the hill (Monday

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why the City Pages are Silly

Like everything else I write: this is also available at our original site: Peanuts from Heaven   It's a spring-time tradition. When Spring Break arrives, I say goodbye to my students, make a few Arrested Development jokes with my colleagues, and pick up as much as I can find on the impending baseball season This year, in addition to the standard season preview issues of Sports Illustrated and ESPN, I also picked up the City Pages, on the basis of it's ominous headline "Baseball's Fiscal Cliff: A

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why JT Chargois is better than A-Rod

It has not been an easy last two weeks for our Adopted Prospect: Mr. Jon Tiberius Chargois (okay it's Jon Thomas...but give me some nerd slack). He had his worst outing of the year giving up 6 earned runs on three walks and three hits, and the breezy dominance that made Chargois a Florida State League All-Star seems like a distant memory compared to his current form.   And yet, this weekend, as the Twins got snake bitten (again) by the Yankees and their complicated, record-book busting (again) D

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why I Still Write About Sports at Times Like This

It's been a hard fall for me to write in these spaces. Every evening I try to sit down to write, I find a dozen other things to do. There are papers to grade and recommendations to submit and people to actually be married to. So while I love to write, and even though I want to write, it slips through my fingers more often than I like.   This past week, I had the time, I had the energy, but every time I opened up this page, I stopped and stared. And as the feeds from North Minneapolis streamed in

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why I Always Come Back

It hasn't been easy being a Twins fan the last few years (though if you're committed enough to the team to find my little corner of the blogosphere, I hardly need tell you that). It's been even less easy to be a positive Twins blogger, to dedicate time and energy to finding the silver linings in a team that often looks outmatched in almost every facet of the game. My writing life would be easier, and probably more pleasant, if I could just sign off from the blog, let it wither and dry up like th

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Why are we listening to this?

That was my wife's question to me on Friday night as we drove to Culver's to use a buy one get one free coupon. We got the coupon at a ballgame this summer...a Saints game. Driving to Culver's to redeem it, listening to the Twins (a team that didn't even win me a scoop of ice cream this year) struggling against the Indians, it took me a second to think of an answer to that question. Then I did. 1. It's the Twins. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zY1QialCYbQ/UUkPnoLgOsI/AAAAAAAACH0/vxvl0L_l6hU/s200/Good

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

What The Twins' World Needs Now

The trade deadline is looming over the heads of Twins fans right now. Like a honed knife's edge, like a hunter's net, like a disapproving parent at the doorway of a kegger thrown by their independent child: it's looming.   At least that's my feeling. And I admit it's a weird one. After all the Twins are sellers (again) in a seller's market (witness the hauls for relatively unimpressive talents thus far). We should be confident. We should be beaming with pride. We should be the belle of the ball,

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

What Ricky Nolasco Really Brings to the Twins

News broke yesterday that former Marlins/Dodgers pitcher, Ricky Nolasco will be signing with the Twins (reportedly for a four/five year deal worth between 49 and 62 Million dollars). There are many things to consider in this signing: the sudden acquisition of a (relative) strike out artist for a "pitch-to-contact" team; the commitment through 2018 (making Nolasco one of only 3 Twins guaranteed that long a deal); the degree of responsibility and position of "leader" foisted on a player who has on

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha' Happened #9 (GAME OF THE WEEK)

Rather than continually reposting the same stuff here as on my other website--and since these recaps are often (week) late--I'm going to trim down these posts to more manageable bite size single best game write ups I've got, and trust that if you want to read more you will find it at THIS WEBSITE!   Game 69 Twins 7 - White Sox 5 The Twins do not care for power hitting. It hurts the feelings of our opponents after all, and we can't have that. But we're willing to make an exception for the White S

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha' Happened #10 ("Best" Games)

There's a fuller write up "recapping" the last week plus in Twins Territory at our main blog, but here are a few key samplings from each series   Game 76 Marlins 5 - Twins 3 The Twins have a good deal of early success against Miami's starter in the first inning, they run into trouble against Kevin "Killthrow" Slowey, who savored the opportunity to best the team that let him go. Elsewhere "Dr. Cakeburn"Nick Blackburn, and Boof Bonser plotted their revenges as part of the Legion of Pitching Doom.

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #8 (@ Kansas City, Washington; V.s. Philadelphia and Detroit)

[TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_74rxwcNBKQ/UUkasIXqzcI/AAAAAAAACIU/egClCMdtGK8/s200/Dedudebro.jpg [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Look out ladies! [/TD] [/TABLE] Game 57 Twins 3 - Royals 0 Right after we honored him as Mr. Peanut for the past two weeks, Ryan Doumit kept it going all Magic Mike Style, bringing sexy back as only he can.     Or like one other person can...because Samuel De-dude-bro joined in the party, rockin' the Roya

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #7 (Red Sox, Braves, Tigers, Brewers, Brewers, Mariners)

There was agony during the last two weeks of Twins baseball (including 7 straight losses to run a losing streak to 10) and ecstasy (including winning 6 of their last 7). The season continues tonight in Kansas City, but before you see that game, let's review what happened in the last few weeks. Game 40 Red Sox 3 - Twins 2 Remember about a month ago, when we went into Boston and dominated the Red Sox to win 3 of 4? Turns out they didn't like that very much. And brought a rather curt "Don't Mess Wi

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #6 (Indians, Red Sox, Orioles and White Sox)

Rumors of our demise our greatly exaggerated. Rumors of the school year ending, our student teacher leaving and our work load increasing dramatically are absolutely accurate. Here now, a pseudo-recap of the weeks since the Twins last got a day off. Game 27 Indians 7 - Twins 6 Long ago I first wrote about the magical Land of Cleve, a blighted kingdom where no team can win for long and where all the knights in the land eventually flee for other kingdom's with better salaries and dental packages

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #5 (vs Rangers and @ Tigers)

Here again, is a brief and not at all accurate reflection of how the Twins did over the past week   Game 20 Rangers 2 - Twins 1 Despite the evening's overlong, numbingly-slow, seemingly interminable catalogue of the talents of others, the Twin Cities were delighted by their own brief shining moment of glory. But enough has been written about the Vikings' draft...The Twins also played and saw Josh Willingham hit a homerun in a losing effort to a more talented Rangers squad. In other news: The

Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

Game 10 Mets 16 - Twins 5 [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://www.newyorker.com/images/covers/1925/1925_02_21_p233.jpg [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Artists rendering of a Metropolitan player [/TD] [/TABLE] Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh, how droll! The Metropolitans have bested those cold weather klutzes in Minnesota! I must broach the topic with my M

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

Game 10 Mets 16 - Twins 5 [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://www.newyorker.com/images/covers/1925/1925_02_21_p233.jpg [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Artists rendering of a Metropolitan player [/TD] [/TABLE] Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh, how droll! The Metropolitans have bested those cold weather klutzes in Minnesota! I must broach the topic with my M

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #3 (vs Mets and Angels)

Game 10 Mets 16 - Twins 5 [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center]http://www.newyorker.com/images/covers/1925/1925_02_21_p233.jpg[/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]Artists rendering of a Metropolitan player[/TD] [/TABLE] Yeah...that happened. But on the plus side, at least our name isn't a shortened form of the snobby title "Metropolitans". As in: "Oh, how droll! The Metropolitans have bested those cold weather klutzes in Minnesota! I must broach the topic with my Mon

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #2 (@ Orioles and Royals)

We're happy to keep guiding you through the strange but true events of the Twins 2013 season *Note: Events are not actually true, but would be very entertaining if they were.   Here's our second edition of Twins recaps as only we can do them: inaccurately but chock full of puns and bad jokes! Game 4 Orioles 9-Twins 5 [TABLE=class: tr-caption-container] [TD=align: center] [/TD] [TD=class: tr-caption, align: center]MASN Sports [/TD] [/TABLE] Picking up where he left off last year, Liam Hend

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened? #1 (v.s. Tigers)

In an effort to keep my blogging on a more consistent time-line, I have decided that rather than writing when the mood strikes me (or when I sigh dispiritedly at my inactivity), I will try to post short recaps of each series after they wrap up--this way I have a regular time to write and a consistent subject to write about. Of course, while lots of people will tell you what happened, only we Peanuts can tell you what happened...in our imagination! Game 1 Tigers 4-Twins 2 When the game time te

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Wha Happened #4 (@ White Sox & v.s. Marlins)

Here's your quick, easy, inaccurate guide to the last week in Twins Baseball Game 15   Cold Weathered Out After going all the way to Chicago just to find out that another game would be postponed due to inclement weather, the Twins groaned loudly in protest. Manager Ron Gardenhire's offer to take everyone out for ice cream was a nice thought but...seriously...whose thinking about ice cream on the 79th day of February?       Game 16   Twins 2 - White Sox 1 In the afternoon, we peanu

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Trade Talk: The New York Yankees

Buyers or Sellers Remember the start of the season when all the "experts" were forecasting a fall from grace for the Yankees? [sigh] Those were the days to be a Yankee hater. Now a team of has-beens and "who-the-hell?"s are sitting a couple games over .500 and just a hundful games out of the Wild Card race.   And even if they weren't, the Yankees would still be buyers. They'll always be buyers   A plague of flesh eating bacteria could decimate the entire franchise, and the Yankees would still b

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Torii Hunter Teaches the Little Things

There's been a lot of cyber ink spilled over the ejection, tirade and now suspension of Torii Hunter for arguing balls and strikes on Wednesday. Rather than debate the justifications for it, or weigh in on the great "inspiration"/"childishness" debate, we'd like to imagine how this little event will affect future Twins franchises. We take you now to a tape room in the Twins' Fort Myers training compound, some March day in the not-so-distant future. A crew of young prospects, chatter anxiously aw

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

Those Damn Yankees: Dealing with Fans

This post (and a wealth of other goofy ones like it) is available at our independent website: Peanuts From Heaven Inc.  http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/images/yankee_fans-600.jpg Most people have a "Yankees fans stink" story. Back at the Metrodome, my wife and her father sat in front of three "woo-girls" from Iowa, so desperate for Derek Jeter's attention that they squealed and shouted "pretty much every time he existed". The game didn't matter, just Jeter's existence. I was in a g

PeanutsFromHeaven

PeanutsFromHeaven

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