Road Goes On Forever (Twins 4 Astros 3– Game 105) Left a great time at Diversicon, a science fiction and fantasy convention, to find the Twins were still playing. The game was tug of war, and the rag tied onto the rope was still in the middle of the mudpit in the center. I’d spent the day with my mind wrapped around the business of writing the unreal and then bringing it to life (for more on my life out from under the baseball cap, click here). Listening to good old fashioned baseball soothe
The Way the Ball Bounces (Twins 2 Royals 7 – Game 102) With the trade talk making the Minnesota Twins look like the garage sale everybody drives past, baseball kept being baseball. The game sounded great in my car, with the window down, and a few hints of fall in the breeze. Provus described a routine foul ball and it reminded me how elegant but complicated the game is. The ball goes in the air, affected by the way it was thrown, the way it was hit, and the atmospheric conditions with which
Daydream Disbeliever (Twins 2 Mariners 8 – Game 98) The Twins got knocked out early in this game, but everybody played nine innings anyway. During my little league tour of duty, I spent most of time at whichever part of the outfield they felt saved me from embarrassing attempts at fielding fly balls. If I was lucky and the ball stayed far away from my glove, I had nothing to do but daydream away until I was forced to humiliate myself at the plate. Getting blown out of the water early, one
Behind the Maps (Twins 4 Angels 2 – Game 95) Putting the Twins on a West Coast road trip is like keeping something in your glove compartment. No matter how much you swear you won’t forget this time, your mind goes blank when it counts. California time victories are nice to find between smashes of the “snooze” button on my cell phone. It’s like getting a nice letter, except no one mails anything anymore. Even the junk mail people gave up the ghost years ago. Since there’s no reason to focus
No More All-Star Moments (Twins 3 Indians 2 – Game 92) This is the story of the 2013 Twins, and there’s really not a whole lot left to cover in these remaining games. True believers will hold out for a miracle, a string of victories, and playoff glory. I love all things TC, but I can’t believe in this campfire tale. If it happens, I’ll jump on the bandwagon and stand in the parade like I always belonged there. The Twins came out of the All-Star Break plucky, like nobody told them the odds.
The Twins Were Sharknados First (Twins 0 Yankees 2 - Game 89) A SyFy televion movie called Sharknado took over the world of Twitter, and I’ll bet most Twins fans didn’t put up too much of a struggle. Sharknado is a movie whose title tells you exactly what you’re going to see on your TV. The Internet Movie Database estimates it cost about a million to make. I’ll bet no one over the age of eight expected any quality from it, and yet it stole the world’s heart for a moment in time. The Twins
Lots of Hits, No Crossovers (Twins 4 Rays 7 - Game 85) Crossed through the radio broadcast of the game like going over the same creek, again and again, driving down a country highway. Things were peaceful enough until I crossed paths with the game one more time to find the Twins down three runs. As I listened, a fourth Rays run crossed the plate. There was still hope when I got home. Aaron Hicks got his fourth hit of the game and then scored a run. I got home and hurried through a few chores
Centre of Horrors, With an “R-E” (Twins 0 Blue Jays 4 - Game 82) After an early first pitch and late jog, my trusty phone informed me the Twins were down four to zip. Last week I might’ve had enough “never say die” to keep an eye on the game, but the Yankees took that with them back to New York. Catching the pre-game show on my drive home didn’t exactly fill me with rainbows, hopes, and dreams. The crew kept referring to Rogers Centre as a “House of Horrors” for the Twins. They always lose t
All Summers are Royal Blue (Twins 3 Royals 1 - Game 74) When, in the course of baseball events, the Twins are clearly not going to make the playoffs, the Royals will play against them approximately one million times. Neither team will be playing meaningful baseball, and yet they will continue playing. I shouldn’t complain. The Twins won. Deduno wins again, too. Aaron Gleeman calls him a UFO, because people believe in his pitching prowess even though all the evidence points toward a more ra
Losing to Traffic AND the Marlins (Twins 2 Marlins 4 - Game 72) Began the drive home with the Twins down by two runs and an unexpected optimism they could pull this thing off. Maybe getting a phone call from my wife informing me we had power after a 91 hour drought made me sentimental. Maybe it was seeing Minnesotans looking over piles of chopped wood, proud to have survived another beating from Mother Nature. My hope didn’t die when then Twins attempts to score a run died on the basepaths,
The first thing you need to understand is the New York Yankees breed monsters. Monstrous Yankees seem to be human, but they grow to be so much more than that. They become legends, with their memory preserved in Monument Park throughout the ages. This is not necessarily an insult: monsters can be heroes, too. Take Babe Ruth. He began as a boy at an orphanage and grew into a walking appetite. His home runs shot further and further away from the batter’s box until thinking of him as a mortal mi
Department of Water and Power (Twins 1 Indians 5 Game 69) It’s really easy to forget about a baseball game when you open up your blinds to see water slapping into your window like gravity made a 90 degree mistake. Weekend baseball series are like a family cookout you can take with you on the car stereo. When the Twins are out of town, the cookout covers the Twin Cities and keeps going. You can ask strangers in blue and red for a score and they’ll tell you. If your biological family is far away
Holding a Handful of Water (Twins 7 White Sox 5 – Game 66) As a kid, I used to fill my cupped palm with water to see how long I could hold onto it. No matter how steady I held my hand, the water always slipped away. I grew up Iowa. We made our own fun and we liked it. As an adult Twins fan, the feeling returns to me. Game after game I see the Minnesota team find a big inning – like their four run first inning – and then slowly let it slide through their fingers. The tall tale used to be
History in the Air, Twins Hits Stay in the Yard (Twins 0 Tigers 4 Game 63) The Twins played tonight, in as much as an official game occurred and they were there. At least people at Target Field got to see Eddie Guardado and PR guy Tom Mee get inducted into the Twins Hall of Fame. I listened to the first inning in my backyard, until the mosquitoes ran up the scoreboard in a hellish game of their own. I listened deeper into the game inside my house. I listened past Eddie Guardado’s time in t
Twins vs. Phillies Run(s) Scored (Twins 3 Phillies 2—Game 60) Run(s) scored. When my team is at bat, I add up all the players and figure out how many runs could’ve gone on the scoreboard. I assume the highest number possible. But when it’s the other team . . . As soon as “Run(s) scored” appears on my smartphone screen all sounds around me cease. I can hear my heart beat. I don’t even count up how bad the damage could be. I just assume infinity. Somehow, despite seemingly being on the
Twins at Nationals A Small Amount of New Hope (Twins 4 Nationals 3 - Game 57) Thanks to rain that wouldn’t go away, this Nationals series will be played in a space of barely over one day. Condensing things makes this interleague series into a neat little three part trilogy. Like Star Wars or The Godfather. Well, it will be for anyone in the Land of Lakes still sporting a TC on their hat, at least. Tonight’s game had the underdog Twins playing the Nationals, a team that is actually good
Twins at Royals Salem’s Lot (Twins 3 Royals 0 - Game 54) I started my day with a run. My Michael Cuddyer shirsey kept me company. It’s funny how sturdy a fan’s heart is. After the announcement a beloved player will no longer be a Minnesota Twin, grief sets in. Then, when the season rolls around, you’re cheering for the players still in the dugout and you only pout when you hear former Twins’ names on highlight reels. Sorta like breaking up with the person you kissed at summer camp. I d
Twins versus Mariners No Big Deal (Game 51) The ball game was relegated to nothing more than background noise. The goose-egg on the Twins’ side of the scoreboard did little to lure me back in. With baseball refusing to signal the beginning of weekend joy. My conversation with my friend turned to ghost stories and hard luck tales. I even dug out the flashlight for that special campfire vibe. And so it’s like this: Baseball is apple pie, and when people are done with their slice they retur
Twins versus Brewers The Coliseum Cheers (Game 49) I tuned into the game just before Sam Deduno got enough outs to put himself in line for a win. He’s like dynamite: The Twins get the exact perfect ratio of balls to strikes from him or everything blows up in their face. The radio was all about the solid defensive performance from the Twins, but all the signals beaming out of Target Field amped up to 11 for a foul ball Chris Parmelee snagged, battling fate and gravity the whole way. A gr
Twins at Brewers Wanting What Uecker’s Got (Game 47) Twins found a win on their first game of the series in Milwaukee. I listened to the first inning on the radio and monitored the rest of the action on my phone. I only half believe giving up on a team hurts their chances of winning, but I absolutely know they won in spite of my pessimism today. Listened to Bob Uecker call that first inning. Still weird to think about him having a stalker for all of those years. I guess, when you’re the vo
Twins at Tigers 10 Pins Fall Down (Game 44) I asked the score if I should watch the Twins game. The score said no, and I had no regrets about spending some time with my wife, my friend, and an awful movie called The Greenskeeper. The formerly infamous John Rocker, pitcher, played the killer. It’s on Netflix. In the ninth inning, we watched our phones to make sure the Twins avoided getting no-hit. Following a baseball team has very few real-life side effects. Getting no-hit can really
Twins at Braves Gimme Danger? (Game 41) Bad night in the US outside of baseball. Tornados took a chunk out of the country again, leaving too many dead (no matter the number) and many of the rest battling post-disaster financial hardship like it was a kind of cancer. For those affected, this will be a mile marker for the rest of their lives. Sadly, but less tragically, Doors’ keyboardist Ray Manzarek died. The Doors were dangerous rock and roll. They made music fearlessly, and when they w
White Sox at Twins Four Sacks of Groceries and Two Dingers (Game 35) When the Twins have a three run lead, it’s safe to grocery shop without excessive worry. When the Twins are behind, each trip down the grocery store aisles is pure agony. Every spare moment and empty space offers an opportunity to check the score on your cell phone. When the other team’s runs pile on, it’s hard to keep shopping. The Twins rewarded my trust with a surplus of runs and a magical day for Aaron Hicks. He hit
I really hold back what I would like to say about then payroll arguments here. The fact that people don't accept the amount taken in dictates the amount going out requires one of two things. Extreme financial ignorance or fanatical bias that prevents the acceptance of something some basic. I did not change the argument. It's the same idiocy over and over. Do you really want to be on the side that suggests revenues does not determine spending capacity?
At this point in the pre-season, I’m just so happy to be seeing games again, I don’t care about the Twins record in 2023. I think they’ll win it all, unrealistically speaking 🙂
I really hold back what I would like to say about then payroll arguments here. The fact that people don't accept the amount taken in dictates the amount going out requires one of two things. Extreme financial ignorance or fanatical bias that prevents the acceptance of something some basic. I did not change the argument. It's the same idiocy over and over. Do you really want to be on the side that suggests revenues does not determine spending capacity?· 0 replies
